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Author of Dragon Sunrise 03: Drunken

  第三回乔打合巧诱旧相知小黄花初识真滋味古歌君不见长安豪富都消败,青驱玉勒今何在。当时沧海变桑田,此日桑田变沧海。须知豪富不常有,有金莫结无情友。怕他翻覆似波澜,久后还同行路叟。

这是几句醒人的说话。大凡鸡奸一事,只可暂时遣兴,那里做得正经。如今有等人每每把这件做了着实工夫,殊不知着实了,小则倾赀废业,大则致命伤。不是说得十分利害,委是眼前逼真光景。还有一样最听不得的,是那做牵头的嘴。他若说是生得好,焦面鬼也还去得。他若说是没多年纪,姜太公还是小官。只要弄得你上路,便快快活活吃现成,用现成。那小官倒不曾打点个起发的念头,他到背地里捐哄不了。撞着个不甚手松的大老官,他就弄得你当真不得,当耍不得。好歹便教那小官跳了槽,随你什么有算计的,只索没法区处,总不如依着。俗语两句说得好,住他到处香醪美,不饮从他酒价高。

如今且说麻阳地方有一个做白日鬼的,不知他姓甚名谁,又没个妻小儿女,住在那紫荆桥上一间小小屋内。平日间并不作些经营,只是东奔西撞。见了个标致小官,毕竟要访了他的姓名住处,就牢牢放在肚里。不料他在这小官行中,混了两三年,倒行起一步好时运来,就结交了几个大老官。后来一日兴了一日,要买货的也来寻他,要卖的也来寻他。地方上人遂把他以桥为姓,去了木旁取个混名叫做乔打合。?

这日是新正时节,乔打合往那相处人家贺节回来,打从紫荆巷里经过。只见那土地庙中,共有十五六个未冠,都会聚在里面说说笑笑。乔打合站住了,逐个瞧了一瞧,却有一大半是认得的,连他也不知这些小官一齐聚集在那里为些甚事。正要等个熟的走出来问个原故,却好背后一个小官叫道:“老乔,你来得正好,也出一个分子去。”乔打合连忙回转头来看时,就是在这紫荆巷里住的唐半琼。唐半琼见了便唱个唱道:“前日特来拜节,遇你不着,空走了一遭。”乔打合连忙弯腰下去道:“失迎失迎。”唐半琼道:“我自去年七月间见你过,到今约莫又有半年不见了。”乔打合笑道:“又是你讲起我才记得,说你一向有些旧病发,如今可好了么?”唐半琼道:“不是什么旧病,就是两年前生的那个痔疮,一向倒医好了。不期旧年夏里多耍子了几次,从新发作起来。倒亏了那辽阳来的一个长老,把几味草药整整医了这几时,个把月前方才脱得管去。”乔打合道:“恭喜,恭喜,脱了管就除根了。我正要问你,你们众人今日聚在这,做些甚么?”唐半琼笑了一声道:“难道你不晓得,这是我们做小官的年年旧例。一到新正来,是本境住的小官,每一个要出五分银子,都在这土地庙里会齐,祈许五夜灯宵天晴的愿心。”乔打合也笑道:“原来你们有这个旧规,果然我也该出一个分子。”唐半琼道:“新年新岁,难道真个要你破钞。”

乔打合道:“只是不曾带得。若带来,神天分上那里不用些儿。”唐半琼道:“我有句话正要对你说。一向在家里坐吃山空,日常间积起得些,都消磨尽了,再没一些来路。如今没奈何,只得舍着脸皮又要出来做那把刀儿,那里有好相处的,千万替我寻个。”乔打合满口应承道:“有有。去年冬里有一个开典铺的徽州人,在这里说起要寻一个在身边早晚顽要,你肯去么?”唐半琼摇头道:“那徽州人最是算小,那里肯撒漫使钱。”乔打合又想了一会道:“你既不欢喜徽州人,又有个绍兴人在这里,可去得么?”唐半琼道:“绍兴人或者还肯撒漫些,只是当不得他会吃醋。”乔打合道:“也罢。且说在我耳朵里,慢慢的替你寻个好主儿。”唐半琼道:“还有一件。我那第二个兄弟打点近日也要出来,一发做你不着,替他也寻个好主儿,作成一作成。”

乔打合道:“你那令弟还没有年纪,如何就出来得。”唐半琼笑道:“好教你在馋唾行中走了几年,一些货也不识。他虽是不多年纪,好不十分在行哩。”乔打合:“这个其实难得,可见有其兄必有其弟也。说在我耳朵里,这个决要寻个专一会开黄花的来作成他。”说不了,只听到里面那些小厮一齐问道:“唐半琼那里去了?”唐半琼见众人寻他,便别了乔打合进去,乔打合也就踱了回来。过得几日就是上元佳节,果然倒被那些小官祈保着了一日直晴。到晚满城中大小人家,都点放花灯。你赛我强,好不点得热闹。乔打合吃了晚饭,锁上了门,也踱到大街上去。只见:满天皎洁,遍地辉煌。万户千门,一处处笙歌鼎沸;六街三市,乱纷纷来往人稠。这壁厢紧层层,你挨我侪,跳着那月明度柳翠;那壁厢闹吵吵,击鼓鸣锣,舞的是狮子滚绣球。这正是美景难逢,谁家见月能闲坐;良宵易过,何处闻灯不看来。?

乔打合穿长街,过短巷,各处看了一会。约莫更尽时候,正要打点回来。只听得后面有几个人,急急忙忙一头走一头说道:“我们到萧衙门里看鳌山灯去。”乔打合听了这一句,思量道:“这里到萧衙也没多路,总是家去不过是睡觉,待我也走去看看。”便随了那几个人。不多时,早到了萧衙门首。只见那大门上点着一座鳌山,妆扮的都是时兴骨牌名故事。

将军挂印,楚汉争锋。一枝花孤红窈窕,大四对八黑威风。公领孙踏梯望月,孩儿十劈破莲蓬。天念三火烧隔子眼,夺全五临老入花丛。还有那拘马军赶着折服雁,正马军抢的秃爪龙。?

这座灯委是做得时样,便是看的人却也不少,团团围住,足有五七百。乔打合用了许多气力,才挨得进大门。走不数步,又见二门上点着一座鳌山,更比外面那座做得有工夫,又做得细巧,四围都是三四寸长的葱草人物,扮成的二三十套戏文。?

金兀术辕门纳款,武三思驿馆逢妖。姜太公垂竿渭水,李十郎饯别河桥。红线女田营盗盒,昆仑奴郭院携绅。林教师夜投水浒,孙行者大闹灵霄。伍子胥生擒伯嚭,李存孝力战黄巢。张仲坚抛家落海,吕蒙正冒雪归窑。凤仪亭太师掷戟,瑶池宴方朔偷桃。清风亭薛荣叹气,乌江渡项羽悲唱。会跌打,蔡跑跑飞拳飞脚;使猛力,张翼德轮棒轮刀。没眼睛的瞎仓官,做得活像撒酒风的醉旨隶,差不分毫。最好看的,庐州人乱敲花鼓;没要紧的,男子汉对跑高跷。这壁厢,有几个放火爆的小孩儿,伸头掩耳。那壁厢,有几个看花灯的丑妇女,跛足驼腰。

那些人看了这座鳌山,都说道做得有工夫,没有一个不连声喝采。正看得高兴,只见有几个生青毛倚着吃了几钟饿碗头,就在那人队里闯起祸来。那些看的人,有一半怕惹事的,恐怕新年新岁,没要紧惹到自己身上,都走散了。有一半好管闲事的,一齐都伙上前劝住那两个厮打的道:“不要动手。这萧衙里却是打不出的,为什么事,放了手,好好讲罢。”傍边一个人回答道:“他取笑了我们这个小官,正要打个不了帐哩。”恰好乔打合也还在那伙人里,他听说个小官,连忙回头看时。果然是一个初蓄发的,年纪约来十四五岁,生得异样标致,一张面孔就如傅粉一般。他把个眼睛看了又想,想了又看。正要访问是那一家的,只见那伙人哄的一声都拥出了大门外去。

乔打合也不去劝闹,连忙上前扯住那个人问道:“这个小官姓甚名谁,在那里住的?”那人道:“他叫做唐半瑶,在紫荆巷里住,是我们相公两三日前新相处的。”乔打合想不起道:“紫荆巷只有唐半琼,那里有什么唐半瑶。”那人点头道:“就是唐半琼的兄弟。”乔打合方才想得起。正打点还要问他几句,见那伙人早已劝散,便也走了回家。心中再思再想,却不晓得是什么人做牵去的。次日起了个老大的早,走到唐半琼家里。正进得门,只见堂前先坐着一个主儿,你道怎生模样。?

一张方面孔,两脸落腮胡。戴一顶吴江帽折起的巾儿,钉一块蜜蜡金碾成的圈子。稀网巾包过眉稍,却有些吴下官人打扮。银铭耳插来鬓后,才认出徽州朝奉行头。

乔打合见这个人气呼呼的坐在那里,便站住了不走进去,叫一声道:“唐半琼可在家么?”唐半琼正在里面梳洗,听得有人叫他,连忙问道:“是那一个?”乔打合道:“我们是紫荆桥上住的。”唐半琼连忙出来见道:“我说是那个,原来是你。来得恰好,进来坐坐,看一看戏文去。”乔打合道:“里面坐的是什么人?”唐半琼道:“你不认得么?这是我兄弟两三日前初相处的,姓汪名通,是个徽州朝奉。”乔打含笑道:“你前日说徽州人啬吝,再不好相处,缘何你兄弟倒相处了?”唐半琼也笑道:“各人所好不同。”乔打合道:“他为什么事气吽吽的坐在这里?”唐半琼道:“说来好笑。他昨晚同我兄弟到萧衙里去看鳌山,撞着一个生青毛,把我兄弟取笑了,他便捻酸起来,今日商量打点要去告状。”乔打合道:“原来昨晚在萧衙里厮打的就是这个主儿,我也在那里看见的。只是为小官去打官司,甚么要紧,待我进去劝他息了罢。”

正要走将进去,又站着道:“且祝我还要问你,前日是那一个把你兄弟牵与他的?”唐半琼道:“是碧莲寺里的一个长老。”乔打合道:“怎么这个人倒寻个和尚做牵?”唐半琼道:“他原在那寺中做下处,两个一向相熟的。”乔打合恼得两个眼睛突出来道:“有这样事,和尚都思量走将出来做牵头了。如今他们吃醋的官司倒打不成,我要和那和尚说几句哩。”唐半琼道:“那长老也在这时来了。你且耐着性子,莫要这场不了,又是那常”说不了,恰好那和尚已走进门。乔打合把他一看,生得有些古怪。

两道浓眉,一双饿眼。半爿僧帽,露几分秃秃光头;一领衲衣,拖二尺翩翩大袖。金刚子枉自持心,梁皇忏何曾见面。

乔打合道:“我走将进去,见了这个秃驴,眼珠里怒火直奔出来。且回家去,明日少不得还要来见你兄弟。”唐半琼扯住道:“新年新岁,难道上门来茶也不吃一杯去。”乔打合道:“明日总来吃罢。”转身就走出门。

不说唐半琼进去和那汪通商量告状的说话。且说那乔打合回到家里,左思右想,只是气那和尚不过。思量要算计他,又没个理会。除非是别寻一个把唐半瑶引去,着他跳了槽,方才出得这口气。一连思量了五六日,再没有个计较可奈何他。这日往街上走走散闷,只见背后有个人叫道:“老乔,一向不见你的面哩。”乔打合忙把头回转来看时,你道是那个,原来是麻阳城里一个最撒漫的大老官,叫做汤信之。乔打合见了满面欢笑,把个腰忙不及的弯下去道:“汤官人,我一向在街上踱来踱去,再不见你哩。”汤信之道:“正是。我因出去了几年,如今才回来周岁。且问你这年把来,麻阳城中可又有几个新出来的小官?”乔打合满口回答道:“有有。小阳巷里新出一个王俊官,碧莲寺前新出一个李玉儿。”汤信之摇手笑道:“这都是我在这里的时节见过的。”乔打合道:“除了他二人,虽然还有几个,只是生得粗皮夯肉,蠢头怪脑,只好当个小官名色的。”

汤信之笑道:“老乔,你却是要在这个行中吃饭的,难道眼睛里再不见一个好小官,明日千万要在你身上替我寻一个。”乔打合道:“有便有一个在这里,生得绝样标致又不多年纪,正好中官人的意,只是要费些周折才可□得来。汤信之道:”是那一家的?你且说一说看。“乔打合道:”就是官人向年相处唐半琼的兄弟,唤作唐半瑶。“汤信之欢喜道:”果然是他的兄弟,不消得说是标致的,这要弄他来便也不难。“乔打合道:”汤官人早见得我几日便好,新近六七日前,被那碧莲寺一个和尚牵去与个徽州主顾了。“汤信之道:”这个一发不难。俗语说,毒龙难斗地头蛇,我便做些钱钞不着,送到他门上去,不怕不随了我。“乔打合道:”这个行不通。倘是那徽州人吃起醋来,却怎么好?“汤信之道:”不妨,拚得与他当官结煞。我今日要出门去,不能够了。你明日可在家等我,待我打点些东西同你送到他家里去。“乔打合把头乱点,满口应承,两人遂拱手别去。

这回乔打合思量得,一则便好奈何了那和尚,二来又好赚他些钱钞,快活个不了,遂去与唐半琼商议停当。果然次日巳牌时分,汤信之着家僮捧了一个描金礼匣来到他家,一同就去见那唐半琼。汤信之相见作了揖,先把寒温叙了一遍,然后问起他的兄弟。唐半琼便唤出兄弟来见了,汤信之喝采道:”这几年不见,果然长得这样标致了,将来大有乃兄之风。“唐半瑶一个脸红。汤信之取过礼匣来送他,唐半琼先把帕子展开一看,上写:玄色花绫一端,天蓝绉纱一端。牙色丝□二副,花素汗巾二方。犀簪一只,金铁一枝。

唐半琼道:”怎么好受汤官人这许多厚礼。“乔打含笑道:”这是送与令弟的,还由你做不得主哩。“唐半琼也笑道:”你就来取笑我,当初我也是这样收过的。“原来近日这些做小官的,个个都是贪得无厌。只除你没得送便罢,若有得逞,莫说是这样厚礼,便是不值几个钱的,也没得反璧。那唐半琼这几句,都是门面上好看的说话。你看唐半瑶见哥哥开口说个不好收,他假意推却起来。乔打合再三劝不过,方才一并收下。

大家坐了,才说得几句,恰好那汪通正走将来。所以说那做小官的极是反面无情,鬼脸儿带在额角上,抹下来最快。唐半瑶见汤信之送了这些礼,一心就向在他身上。见汪通走来,岂不是昨日光景,便觉有些下眉下眼,做出那不偢仙的模样。那汪通也还知趣,见有人坐在堂前,转身就走。终久做牵头的在行帮衬,这乔打合见汪通前日气吽吽的坐在他家,商量要告状的正是他,恐怕见了又捻酸起来,便悄悄向汤信之耳边说了几句,遂起身别去。汤信之一路上与乔打合计议道:”这个人紧紧恋住,一时就难弄得到手。“乔打合道:”只要唐半瑶肯心向了你,怕他则甚。“汤信之道:”说得有理。你明日可起个早去,寻了他同到我花园里,待我把些话儿对他说,自然把那徽州人断送上路。“乔打合道:”汤官人又有一说,那唐半琼决要他同来才好。“汤信之道:”恐怕他在面前,见我和他兄弟相好了,又要捻酸吃醋。“乔打合道:”他倒是个会帮衬的,这些光景包得没有。“汤信之道:”这样一发寻了他来。“说话之间,早到了紫荆桥,两人各自回家。

次日乔打合未到天明就来到唐半琼家,立等他弟兄两个起来梳洗,一同径到汤信之花园门首。那管花园的还认得是唐半琼,便回答道:”莫要进去,我家官人出外两三年还不曾回来哩。“乔打合道:”莫要取笑,你家官人昨日约我们来的,你不与我们进去相见,明日都推在你身上。“管园的道:”说便进去说了,只是里面聒絮着我,你们却走不开的呢。“你看他唧唧喻喻,没奈何走将进去。不多时,汤信之就走出来,见他三个,这个欢喜也不知是那里来的,邀到花厅上坐了。才吃得一杯茶,只见里面闹吵起来,管园的一步一跌忙不及的赶来说道:”大官人不好了,里面得知,打将出来了,没要紧省得淘气罢。“原来这汤信之的妻子最是利害,日常间听得丈夫在外相处了个小官,就要倒了葡萄架,便是汤信之生怕的也是这一着。唐半琼慌了道:”快些去罢,不要带累我受气。“汤信之道:”怎么是好,偏生撞着这个不贤慧的东西,好扫兴哩。“乔打合道:”他二位极难得接来的,终不然乘兴而来,败兴而返。我有个道理,那紫荆桥边有一所空屋,原是陈刺史的花园,里面有的是好耍子所在,我们就同到那里去,谈一谈也好。“汤信之道:”早说有这个所在,也省得惹这场臭气,一同就去罢。“乔打合道:”待我先去开了门,等他两个慢慢后来。汤官人你还到宝夫人那里陪个小心再来才是。“汤信之笑道:”这倒不曾引惯他。只是不带得些银子,少不得还要进去才来。“乔打合悄悄的先走出了园门,唐半琼就同了兄弟,随后踱着。

这正叫做芥菜子偏落在绣花针眼里。两个走得十来家门面,恰好那汪通在小巷里劈面撞着,连忙就闪过了。汪通暗想道:”他两个此时往那里去,待我做些工夫不着,跟在他后面,看走到那一家。“你看这汪通紧紧随着,只见他两个同进了那间空屋,又想道:”走到这空房里去,决有些蹊跷,悄悄跟他进去看个下落。“正走得进去,那汤信之也就来了。乔打合引了他们四下看了一会,汤信之把些银子递与他道:”你可先去安排些午饭。“乔打合早明白了这个意思,就扯了唐半琼同走。

这汤信之那里知道汪通先躲在里面,两个没些体面,青天白日说起鬼话来。唐半瑶原有意肯的,只是脸皮还嫩,害着羞半推半就。汤信之脸腆道:”没奈何,再是一会,又好来寻吃饭了。“唐半瑶掩着嘴道:”青天白日,羞答答的怎么好干这样事。“汤信之道:”明人不做暗事,没奈何我又唱唱了。“说未了便把个腰弯将下去。唐半瑶连忙扶住道:”依便依了。你只要先讲过,到了熬不得的田地,你也要依我呢。“汤信之欢喜道:”这个自然都要通情。“两个就在假山背后弄了一会。唐半瑶弄得个遍体酥麻,靠倒在假山石上,那里爬得起来。汤信之袖里摸出一条汗巾替他把彼处轻轻拭了一会,又替他把裤儿系了。唐半瑶塌地坐倒道:”我却不晓得这件东西,世上人没一个不欢喜他的,还是有些什么好滋味。“汤信之道:”说不尽哩。“两个正坐在假山上说得有兴。不道那汪通听了熬不过,起来厉声高叫道:”个小擦娘的,擦得屁眼好快活哩。“汤信之那里晓得就是汪通,吃个大惊,飞一似的脱身跑去。汪通就把唐半瑶拦住道:”你却会得作难,这番走到那里去。若是略道半个不字,就活活结果了你的性命。“唐半瑶见他说话来得凶狠,没奈何只得做了一个阳货献臀才了得帐。

走出门来,劈头又撞着乔打合将他一把扭住道:”你看这房子是那一家的,许你在里面拐小官么。“唐半瑶见这个光景,先跑了回去。汪通回答不来,被乔打合挥了几个巴掌。那些地方上看的,见是徽州人,明明都欺侮他,都说把这个狗蛮结到陈衙里去。汪通慌了道:”听凭众位私下处了罢。“众人道:”一席戏文酒就饶了你去。“乔打合道:”这还不打紧。先要写一张伏辨与我。“汪通是个有身家的,自古道,家值千贯,身值千贯。事到其间,只要了性命,满口应承道:”有纸笔就写。“众人道:”省得又引得人多了。“取了笔砚,依旧到空房里去。汪通去写道:立伏辨人汪通,祖籍徽府,客居麻阳城。素性不才,惯作灌肠之技;生平毛病,嗜为盗粪之人。一时见拙,作事欠通。不堤防人耳隔墙,遂败露陈衙空屋。暝目自甘,噬脐何及。若非众位善周全,几致一身难摆脱。倘日后再蹈前非,据今朝一张存案。

众人道:”伏辨便是这样写了,如今只要了落地方上去。“汪通道:”列位放心,那碧莲寺就是我的下处,同到那里,少不得有个意思相谢。“众人道:”使得,使得。“乔打合只收了伏辨,凭那些人跟了汪通去。他连忙走将回来,恰好汤信之唐半琼都坐在家里,眼望旌捷旗,且听好消息。见他走到,齐问道:”怎么放他去了?“乔打合道:”放便放了他去,伏头伏脚写得一张在这里。“汤信之接过手,看了笑道:”写得停当,写得停当,这番不怕那唐半瑶不是我的货了。“乔打合道:”不是这个苦肉计,如何送得那徽蛮上路。这遭你把什么谢我?“汤信之道:”凭你开口要那一件就是。“乔打合笑道:”说得有理。不然的时节,伏辨又轮到你写了。“当下就打点午饭,三人吃了各自出门。汪通自这回不得了便宜,竟把唐半瑶那点念头收拾起了。

后来汤信之见唐半瑶竟不带一些小官气,凡事还肯将就,把眼睛又是一样看承,三五年里替他做了许多正经事。所以说不会相处的,千个不抵一个。会得相处的,一个足胜千个也。诗云:风流队里最难言,须识机谋一着先。?

多少五陵裘马客,进时容易退时难。?



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