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The 12th Anniversary: Drunken

  第十二回玉林园痴儿耽寡醋凝芳院浪子斗双鸡锦鹧鸪:梦断罗浮绰约口,玉龙鳞甲寄帘栊。白辜花底三更月,却怨楼头一口风。寒料峭,晓葱茏,劝君莫放酒杯空。梅花落去桃花发,也自春风也自红。这一回,单说近来出等小官,好歹便要吃醋。看将起来,小官吃醋也是常事,说他怎的?人却不知道这一番议论,专讲着那好吃寡醋的。你道吃醋便是吃醋,怎么叫做吃寡醋?比像如今有个大老官,常肯在小官身上撒漫些儿,那小官见了,只道是怎的一个大舍手,兀自拿班做势。那做大老官的,叫做东边也是佛,西边也是佛,有了钱钞,那里没个小官相处。寻便另寻了一个,只是在前那个如何怯气得过,是这个不怯气,这遭免不得把个寡醋罐儿倾翻了。这不是没巴臂的说话,眼见得有个样子在这里。听说锦江城中新桥街上出两个小官,从来不识姓名,却是各人有个绰号。一个叫做满身骚,一个叫做满身躁。那满身骚生褥妖娆体态,走到人前,一味温柔腼腆,眼睛鼻孔都是勾引得人动情的。那个满身臊,生得粗头俗脑,走向人前,一阵腥臊恶气,越要做出袅娜派头。却一件,小官虽是不堪,倒是个道地货,颇颇价钱又合得来,一个东道也肯作成,些须饯钞也肯作成。那满身骚如何便肯将就开口,动不动就要起发一块。常有那些好此道,又不肯用两分,初出茅庐的大老官,听人说,只好咽口唾,见了面只好下个蛊。所以说近来的人,单单生得两只耳朵,况又贪了便宜,不论真假,个个都把满身臊来说做了满身骚,把个像蛤布袋多得口气的小官,抬到三十三天,说得竟有万千妙处。你道姓甚名谁?姓高名绰,家俬巨万,多亏父祖的根基,平日间大嫖大赌,挥金如撒土一般,锦江城中人都叫他做浪子。那地方上有两个相识光棍,一个叫做假斯文,一个叫做真捣鬼,都原是做过大老官的,后来也为这呼庐里破了家俬。做不得别样生意,只好在这赌场里打溷,做个相识,将就赚些闲钱。他两个一向闻说高绰是个大把赌输赢的,况且又是个酒头,巴不得看相他一道,月是没个门路可入这个身子。这日正到街上走走,猛可的后面有个人叫道:“真假二兄那里去?”两个回头看时,你道是谁?却是做白日鬼的老蒋。便站住了道:“蒋大哥,许久不见,可在那里?”老蒋道:“小弟近日在高官人家里管些闲事。”两个道:“那个高官人?”老蒋道:“就是高绰。”两个快活道:“妙得紧,妙得紧。我们好里晓得你一向在他家里,却错过了许多好机会。如今往那里去?”老蒋道:“不瞒二兄说,我那高官人日来着实好男风,闻得新桥街上有个小官叫做满身臊,人上大作兴他,因此央我去寻来耍一耍。”假斯文道:“那满身臊每日清晨就出门了,此时去缘何寻得他着?”老蒋道:“这等不能够见他了。”真捣鬼道:“你要寻他,甚是不难,明早径到新桥口下章小坡赌房里来,包你就见。”老蒋道:“这样说,莫非他也好那把刀儿?”两个齐说道:“这是他的专行。”老蒋道:“正做得来,我那高官人也是个好赌的,待我去对他说这个就里,明日教他带两个银子,同到章小坡家卖开筹马掷他一通,好歹便见光景了。”假斯文道:“只是一句话,那满身臊是个初出来学赌的小官,出的筹马多则一钱,少则三五分,那里曾见那些大把赌输赢的?若要和他见注,那一道决乎再讲不入了。”老蒋道:“终不然做个看赌的名头来不成?”假斯文道:“不是这样说。教他把银子多带些来,待我这里也暗拴了几个朋友,打点三五十两,只拣个是他的对手和他硬斫一番。你说那做小官的,见这样好赌的主儿,难道不喜欢?然后慢慢勾引他,不怕不到手。”老蒋大笑道:“讲得有理,讲得有理。”真捣鬼道:“总是这两句说话,不必再絮烦了。趁早回去,大家都好打点明早事情。”老蒋道:“别样不打紧,满身臊决要在二兄身上。”两个道:“自然,自然,只要明日早些到那里相会。”老蒋把头点了一点,转身径走。不说老蒋去回覆高绰的说话,且说假斯文真捣鬼两个到家,满望要弄高官人一大块。你道这两个做相识的精光棍,可是拿得出三五十两银子来的?连夜去做了三四十两假银子,约莫有二十多锭,次早又去借了两件时样衣服,着一个小的拿了拜匣,打了马伞,两个阔阔绰绰,摆摆摇摇,竟不是日常间的真假二兄模样。随路去邀了满身臊先来到章小坡家里。章小坡一见,连他也不知他两个怎么发迹得这样快。假斯文只得把那话对他说了,大家方才打做一路。不多时,那老蒋同了高绰也就走到。章小坡见这个大赌客来,好不奉承,吃了茶,把闲话说了几句,就邀到里面一间小小书房里去。高绰问道:“适才那位未冠,是那一家的?”章小坡笑道:“这是新桥街上住的满身臊。官人不认得他么?”高绰道:“原来他就叫做满身臊,何不寻进来坐坐?”章小坡满口应承道:“使得,使得。”说话之间,就着人出去寻他进来。这个叫做情人眼底出西施,不知高绰怎么一个看法,一看就中了意。老蒋对章小坡道:“高官人此来不过是耍耍子,俗语说得好,既在雕栏下,都是赏花人。何不就与这位兄掷一通何如’”章小坡道:“高官人是大把赌输赢的,如何和他见得注?况且他小官家也没这个胆量,有心到这里,难道不耍子个痛快去?待我邀了适才那二位进来,三家好赌一场,恰不是好?”老蒋帮衬道:“说得有理。只是高官人盆口不甚精热,好歹烦这位兄坐在身边,相帮看一看。”章小坡道:“这个极使得的,若是高官人赢了起身,包得在我身上,寻个意思送你买果子吃。”老蒋道:“大家帮衬一帮衬。”章小坡道:“官人还是放六掷,还是赌五子‘”高绰道:“倒是六掷爽利些。”章小坡道:“晓得,待我去邀他二位进来。”不多时,同了假斯文真捣鬼两个走到书房里。假斯文假意谦逊道:“小弟们只怕与足下对不得手。”章小坡道:“且少买几两,冲一阵么。”假斯文便不则声道,叫小厮拿拜匣过来开了。老蒋拿出一封银子,也买十两筹马。两家正要出注,真捣鬼道:“且住,等我也买几两,好搭搭盆。”说不了,袖里摸出一锭,约莫有三两多重,递与章小坡。章小坡数了三两筹与他。三家都买停当,假斯文先把筹老大出上一把,有五六两光景。高绰原是十酒头,便不辞注,拿起骰子一个穿花撒的一声,把他面前筹掳了过来。你道落马就赢了这许多,难道不欢喜的?却不知这是做相识的派头,下马决要把你得个彩头。原来高绰的来意,只为着满身臊,端的不为着要赢一块回去。这假斯文与真捣鬼原是借满身臊的名色,实实落落指望掘一窖的。高绰譬如不赢了方才那注,把面前十多两筹都推将出去,被假斯文一掷,就掳了去。高绰看看面前打点没货,又叫老蒋拿出一封银子,又买十两。两家你放把我,我放把你,那里轮得到真捣鬼。真捣鬼想一想看,料得他赢了,少不得有得八刀的,便把那三两筹还了章小坡,立起身,光碌碌两只眼睛,一眼钉在盆里,巴不得一掷都赢了他的过来。你说一个是老相识,一个是滥酒头,如何并得过?不多一会儿,高绰输下六十两。老蒋见光景不妙,就止住了。章小坡替他舍了钞,打发他两个先出去。大家八刀起来,你一股我一股,都分停当。章小坡齐齐整整,安排酒肴到书房里。你看这高绰输了老大一块,全然不在心,一心中意了满身臊。两个说得好不投机,就是满身臊见他这个局面,着实倒也有他的心。大家猜三喝五,把酒乱吃了一会。将近更把天气,一齐作别出门。高绰便叫小厮把火把先拿上前,老蒋是个做密骗的,点头知尾,听了这一句,也先上前走了。高绰携了满身臊的手,两个黑地墨天,未免不说几句鬼话。口口声声,约他明日到花园里来耍子。说话之间,过了新桥,已到满身臊门首。高绰就叫住前面掌火的小厮,直看他进了门,方才同老蒋回去。说这满身臊第二日清晨,梳洗齐整,穿长街,过短巷,迳来到高家花园门首。仔细一看,只见上面有十小小匾额,写着三个字道:“玉林园”。两扇园门半开半掩,满身臊站了一会,只指望等个人出来问一声,好走进去。怎知等了半日,人影也不见一个,悄悄把门推开,踱将进去。四下看时,果然是好景致。只见那:花屏曲折,秀石嵯峨。十二栏杆,扇扇金描彩画。儿重楼阁,层层画栋雕梁。石桥通曲径,两双双白鹤行来。深树锁幽轩,一对对锦鸡飞去。正是一点红尘飞不到,分明人世小蓬莱。正看个不了,只见那花屏风里,走出一个管园的老子来问道:“小官敢是满身臊么’”满身臊吃个惊道:“你缘何晓得我?”老子笑道:“这是早晨我家官人吩咐说,少刻有个小官到花园里来,问是满身臊,便要通报。曰此问一问看。”满身臊道:“既是你家官人有这句话,就烦你进去说一声,有个满身臊特来相访。”老子道:“你可随我到那亭子上去略坐一坐。”瞒身臊随他走进亭子。那老子向后面一溜,便不见了。不多时,高绰走将出来,见了满身臊,老大欢喜,连忙吩咐打点午饭,就叫管园的开了凝芳轩,满身臊随了高绰来到轩里。管园的把四下窗棂都开了。高绰搬出许多好玩器来与他看。满身臊喝采不已,才坐得一会,恰好午饭又打点来了。两个吃得完,满身臊就把句话儿打动他。高绰见他有了口风,也把句话儿答将过去。只是这满身臊是个见兔放鹰的小官,偏又着了高绰这见兔放鹰的大老,两个都提搁了工夫。满身臊稳稳拿定主意,随他腼腆温柔,毕竟不肯委曲用情。高绰有些不快活,正踱出轩子,恰好老蒋飞一般的跑来说道:“高官人,好奇怪,就是昨日卖筹的章小坡,领了个小官,也叫做满身骚,站在花园门首,要见你哩。”高绰听说又有个小官来,把适才的不快活就撇下了,笑道:“终不然小官也有冒名的,去邀进来看看。”老蒋连忙出去,指引两个来到亭子上。高绰劈面一见,把个舌头伸出了二三寸,遂扯章小坡出去问道:“这个小官好得紧,要些什么螨身臊、”章小坡笑道:“好教你得知这个是真正的满身臊,昨日见的那个是假钞,叫做满身臊。”高绰还不解意,道:“如何都是一样名字、”章小坡摇头道:“差得多哩。他是风骚之骚,那个是腥臊之臊,怎么将天来比地?”高绰道:“不要说了,那满身臊今日特来望我,在轩子里坐着,倘是听得些说话,只道是我们背后评品他。”章小坡道:“既在这里,何不也邀他到亭子上来坐坐。”满身臊在亭子后走过来道:“我在这里多时。”

原来起初那些话,句句都被他听得,正住得口,猛可的看见了满身骚,一个脸红,倒不好退了去,只得勉强坐下。高绰就叫里面摆酒出来,五个人坐了一张八仙桌,摆下十多样嘎饭。饮酒中间,高绰不住睛把满身骚看个不了,越看越有丰味,果然是若将两物比,必有一物强。一个是百炼的精金,一个是初出土的顽铁。你还说是那一件看得入眼?看看吃到傍晚,众人都就起身。章小坡不然也就跟着满身骚在这里歇了,见这个满身臊在面前,未免没些干碍,只得同他告辞起身。正要出门,高绰又扯了满身臊说了几句。原来是约他明日再来的话。满身臊也虑得到是这一句,一个不欢喜同散去了。次日起出个老大的早,着饱了肚子,先来躲在花园里,月要等满身骚来,看他和高绰做些什么事情,便好拿着住把柄。进门得一霎,那满身骚也就来了。管园的连忙进去通报。高绰欢天喜地地出来迎进,径加到凝芳轩里。不上说得几句,两个就高兴。高绰分付管园的把园门上了闩,不许放一个人进来。随即推上了轩子门。两千正弄得爽快,那满身臊向窗缝里看得动火,呀的把门推开。两个吃上一惊,那里丢手得及。满身臊道:“人人都说你做小官有崖岸,看将起来,一发比我不值钱得多哩。”满身骚没什么回答,高绰道:‘你昨日哄得我活不活,死不死,正气你不过,来得恰好。今番怕你走到那里去?“一只手把他衣服紧紧扯住。满身躁设法不脱,只得做个风脸儿不着,也把裤子脱将下来。高绰趁着屌头上还有些滑溜溜的东西,唧的弄将进去。怎知这一回,倒比先前愈加有工夫。约莫着抽了三千抽,还不得了帐。满身骚在前面看得熬不过了,咬住牙根,才把个骚态做作出来。这高绰屌便放在这个屁眼里,眼睛又看了那个的做作,越发不得兴阑。满身臊弄得快活过火,正要卖个手段,不料高绰早又泄了。停了一会,那张屌又发作起来,高绰拼得个快活死了,也做个风流鬼,一把又将满身骚抱住,故将进去。才抽得十来抽,只听得园门乱敲,却是章小坡来了。连忙丢开手,出来相见。章小坡笑道:”三位今日好喜色哩。“大家你看我,我看你,都红了脸。高绰道:”坐一坐去。“章小坡取笑道:”坐坐不打紧,又要打点喜酒出来。“高绰道:”这是现成的。“章小坡道:”若果是酒便好,经不得讨酒,倒甩出醋来。“高绰这日又打点了一桌请了章小坡。章小坡遂在满身骚面前,着实撺掇。过得几日,满身臊弄了高绰丢儿,就不来了,把这个主顾竟让了满身骚。就是高绰喜欢的,也不过是个满身骚,巴不得把个满身臊断绝了。他两个似漆如胶,共相处有八九个年头。高绰险些儿把个家俬都在满身骚身上浪尽了。后来满身骚为闯出一桩空头祸,逃走到别处去,方才歇帐。看将起来,总是他两个相处缘分该满,再也不须说得详细。只是说与将来若辈,凡事百里,好好撮个俏儿,便是聪明老到。诗曰:莫信直中直,须防仁不仁。要知山下路,须问过来人。




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